Al-Assad and Syrian children

A primary school Teacher, as he also was studying law in Aleppo university.

Badr Eldeen Shlash is a Syrian citizen and activists was arrested in the beginning of the revolution in the 16th of March 2011, later Shlash fled to Turkey in the 14th of May 2012 because he was targeted by the Syrian security force.

Badr during 6 years of his life was teaching in various of different schools in Idleb in the city of Saraqeb and in the countryside of it, spent years with children watching their behaves and the way they grow, many of those children are teenagers now and he kept in touch with many of them since many lives in the around where he lives, his students were in the age of seven to ten years.

What mainly hurts Badr as he said is being a father, being father and a teacher of children made him first notice the children behaves changing, he says: first thing took my attention is my own daughter behaves changing, my own daughter’s case!!

In the middle of May 2011 at 12:10pm, the Syrian secret service men raided my home, I was lucky that I could run away, but I missed to realize in that moment how in this day my first loses have just started, since that day I could not sleep in my own home with my own children, with my family.

Visiting my home was such a difficult thing that I could rarely do since that.

I could not realize at that moments the psychology case of my daughter as she is telling me how the security came to bed room and how they are black dressed in black even their bears were black, everything just black, at that moment I assumed its only a normal imagination for every child who sees that bad and evil things are black.

until the day when I witnessed the first strange behave, since that day I started to look for other children’s situation and I could collect and study some different cases,

will start them with my daughter’s case:

Ennana Badr Eldeen Shlash:

she was in the toilet around nine in that evening, few weeks after the secret service raid, when the electricity was down which is such a normal thing but she went out of the toilet, she was so scared and screaming without putting on her underwear or even cleaning her self, she just suddenly went out saying “the security men the security men they are in the toilet”. shaking crying and screaming again and again “the security men are here, dad hide your self, run away they came to take you”. Later and every time I come home Ennana would close the doors and then she starts to ask me to leave so the security men and secret service can not find me to arrest me if they came.

at that time we were very peacefully protesting and the revolution was just only peaceful protest and the Syrian military force were not surrounding the city or attacking it yet.

Only in that day I realized my crime against my child and started to think of what I am doing to see my daughter in this situation and if that worth it or not, I realized how I lost my home twice, my child who left her childhood to the unknown psychology case that I have no name for it.

I used to call her every time the Syrian security and military attack the city, she tells me how she is not afraid and she is fine but she is just worried about me and wonder if I am alive or one of the shots found me, although I am in Turkey now but still I feel like I am living in that horrible storm, I think of her not only as a child asking and a father answering, but I could see that Ennana was forced to be grown not in the natural stranded, she lost her father who is supposed to be next to her reading the bed stories and listening to her dreams, she lost the family safety feeling, she lost the family place because for the past six months she is moving from place to another with her mother, looking for a life, a safe place where to survive, away from her home.

I feel Attacked by her wonders and questions, when she asks: when are we going to go back home?, why you can not stay with us?. She cries badly when I leave, she wants to go with me wherever I am going to even if I am going to hell.

In the first six months she was asking me to leave, then after that she was holding my pants crying every time I am about to leave. I could not tell her that I will have to go to Turkey when I last time saw her, but when her mother told her she had that hysterical crying for a whole day followed by kind of illness took her a while to get healed from it when she had bad infection in her throat.

Now as I am writing this I am just wondering “was it a sin when we dreamed of having a free life for our children!!? and weather the country we are willing to have is as big as our sacrifices!!?
Really I have no answer.